The Laughing Ghod in the Corner was revealed to me in a fit of enlightenment while I was sorting out the various schismatic variations on Last Thursdayism. I was about to enter the false path of next-Tuesdayism (the belief that the Universe has not yet been created, but will be next Tuesday, if only god can manage the time) when I turned to stare into the corner of the room, and there it was, laughing.
It may have been a combination of high fever and the pharmaceuticals I was using to combat it, but I think it was divine revelation. The Laughing Ghod in the Corner agrees.
The Laughing Ghod is sitting in the corner wondering when we’ll realize that since it exists outside of time there’s no reason why it couldn’t create the universe at the end of time, rewind it, and then let us play it forward. It is sitting in the corner giggling.
Here are the revelations of the Laughing Ghod in the Corner to date.
The Laughing Ghod in the Corner says
- it is an atheist.
- it has no gender, having felt no need to reproduce, although it may change its mind about that.
- it has disproved the existence of an infinite number of gods. But it won’t tell me the cardinality.
- all the gods are the same as far as it can tell.
- it is on good terms with the Flying Spaghetti Monster and that they often dine with the Invisible Pink Unicorn and the Dude.
- your god won’t return its calls.
- there could be as many gods as it wants to create, since it could always create the minor gods incapable of changing the laws of physics.
- it hasn’t gotten around to creating the universe yet, but when it does, it will have had enjoyed doing so very much.
- when it gets around to having invented the universe, it is going to be one where at least some of the laws of physics change over time.
- it hasn’t created the universe yet, but when it does, you’re all going to have been very happy because it will have a very twisted imagination by the time it remember to get to it.
- if it ever gets around to creating the universe it will definitely have been most amused by those who make a religion out of science.
- it wants to have created the universe and then let it run but that people keep dragging it back into the universe.
- when it gets around to creating the universe it will have made sure that The Laughing Ghod in the Corner is only subjective truth.
- the sayings of The Laughing God in the Corner are not proof that it has created the universe yet.
- it has a strange sense of humor, and likes to add the occasional whimsical touch to its designs.
- it will be comprehensible whenever it speaks.
- it doesn’t care whether you deny its existence or not.
- it is not the uncaused cause.
- it will invent life shortly after the universe ends, and insert it in time where it was most needed.
- everything is a shared consensual hallucination, even the gods.
- it rejects the law of the excluded middle, since Schrödinger’s cat is both dead and alive, even after Schrödinger peaked in the box.
The Laughing Ghod in the Corner says that some gods are worth listening to. Today The Laughing Ghod in the Corner overheard Joyce Carol Oates report that “Catgod says, My indifference to your suffering does not (necessarily) mean that I do not exist but only that I am indifferent.”
The Laughing Ghod in the Corner says it will consider saying that first, if it ever gets around to creating the universe.